Reality TV’s big romantic finale offered Australia its picture-perfect image of Asia – a place without Asians, writes ANDREW WALKER.

With Prime Minister Tony Abbot’s pivot from Geneva to Jakarta looking rather shaky, reality television may offer some assistance in understanding our relationship with Asia.

Last night’s picture-postcard finale of The Bachelor provided an anxiety-alleviating image of the region to our north: Asia without Asians.

In a seemingly abandoned Thai resort hotel, buff and regularly shirtless bachelor Tim went through the motions of his final dates with the surviving duo Anna and Rochelle.

Discrete service is one thing, but this five-star location seemed to be pretty much self-catering.

I may have missed some signs of life — tea making and homework are reality TV distractions — but I didn’t catch a glimpse of reception staff, waiters, housekeepers, tuk-tuk drivers asleep at the hotel entrance, or car park attendants with uniforms like trumped up generals.

There were, I must admit, some beach-goers evident in the background shots, but our nationally televised ménage-a-trois encountered virtually no-one in their journeys into the Asian hinterland.

And they didn’t need to. Stubbled bachelor Tim let the landscape do the talking.

In order to maintain the integrity of the plot he had to feign indecision. He had “connections” with both girls and this was going to be one of the hardest decisions of his life. Choosing the resort was probably the hardest and, with only a skeleton staff on duty, Trip Advisor let him down badly.

But the landscape gave the story away.

For the final date Anna was treated to a romantic cruise on an antique junk (seemingly un-crewed and guided by GPS technology) in azure waters amongst dramatic limestone islands.

On a blissful beach, Tim wielded a machete to open a coconut and then poured its contents over his glistening chest. After a kiss and a cuddle in crystal clear waters, this idyllic beach experience wanted for nothing.

Rochelle’s exposure to Asian realities couldn’t have been more different.

She arrived for the date having trekked up a muddy mountain path into a mosquito infested jungle. Being a down-to-earth sort of girl she was delighted to meet an elephant, but ill-prepared to ride on one. Sitting for an hour in a skimpy jumpsuit trying not to slide off a lurching wooden seat isn’t conducive to love talk. The date concluded with a dunking in a mountain stream of dubious water quality.

So, it was no surprise when a surprisingly clean-shaven bachelor (prickly heat thrives on designer stubble) ditched Rochelle and declared his love for Anna.

Asia had done its job well.

A perfect background for Australia’s big decision. The landscape drove the plot admirably and some generic Asian culture (of the sort you can find anywhere from Mullumbimby to Mumbai) provided just enough spice.

It was a comforting oriental interlude in an uncomfortable week.

But, sadly, no engagement.

Professor Andrew Walker is deputy dean of the ANU College of Asia and the Pacific, a frequent traveller to the region, and, sadly, taken.